The Underbelly of Perfectionism

Do you ever look out at that list of things you wanted to accomplish and feel supremely deflated?  Does setting goals ever feel like trying to get a tan in Seattle?   Do you have that voice that says - I don’t want to show up unless I’m good, no, downright f*cking amazing. 

We are hard wired to evaluate, strategize, and plan. But all too often this turns into bogeys like - it’s too much work, it’s too much money, it’s too much of an emotional investment.  What we’re saying below the surface is that we aren’t enough. Just think about it. Why do we stop ourselves?  We want to be perfect.

For Christmas this year, I bought my mom a small contraption meant to help her fold T-shirts like crisp flattened origami wonders, to fold them perfectly.  But the thing is, she never needed it, he closet looks like the inside of a Gap store.  Everything screams Order, Order.  And every time I visit her house, a little courtroom gavel goes down in my head screaming that I’m not orderly enough. 

I’m not.  I try hard, and I do pretty well.  But in the past year I’ve taught yoga, run moon circles, started coaching, led storytelling tours underground, sold cars, and now run consults and training in EdTech.  Order?  Yeah right.  To those of you luck enough to have seen my home, I love that things have places, and I get high with the creative aspect of arranging things. 

And rearranging things.  But the rearranging is a mess.  And any badass who gets shit done knows the desk is a mess when you’re on a roll.  I just wanted to bring this up though today because we’re entering the pisces season.  It’s a time when things get nearly liquefied.  It’s a time when we can actually look that bogey of perfection in the eye and remind ourselves this.

Having goals is great.  But in order to work towards them, give yourself permission to do the work instead of always evaluating it.  Most things worth their weight in gold are hard to find, or hard to build.  So let yourself be imperfect.  Skip the chaturanga in your yoga class, but still go, the more you go, the easier it gets.  Begin your writing project, write like hell, and then finish it — even if it takes a year or ten.  Walk yourself down to the public library and ask about free courses in starting your own business, because how long have you thought about it?  Researching can be a form of procrastination.  Asking too many questions, measuring too much, these are as toxic as not asking enough. 

So, to get to the long list of goals, to make real progress, take action.  Don’t let disorder sway you from your dream. Check in with your gut, literally, put your hand on your belly.  If you want to do amazing things, let yourself be amazed by your own fortitude, your own imperfect process.  Remember, you Are enough, as is.  The world is crying out for you to do the things you’re meant to do.  Get to it.